take me away from me

with no one left to save you from yourself
Wednesday, April 28


got waken up by wierd stuffs.took so long to think
and finally knew whats gg on.
police and ambulance took her away.
dont ask why.
if i were you i wldnt wanna know.
-i love you sis-

my stomach is growling like nobody's business.
and im so frigging tired.its like ive been awake
since 2am.and its school time now.
i AM seriously tired. helpps.

cried alone in the dark 6:05 AM

Monday, April 26


23rd-went home asap.cause m off to thailand.yeah.heh.my plane was like filled with china ppl urgh.and they're freaking noisy.the computer thing on the SIA.was alrighte lar.quite nice and those cheena ppl were bitching ard when we had to return back due to some errors technically.its like we've been already flying for like one hour plus.okay nvm.can play more.my sis n i were like so irritated and got so frigging
pissed that we practically killed them with our stares.and rawks can.i got to watch
kill bill.heh.okay.so we're back and the flight was delayed till 645.was hogging on to the free phone.lol.alrighte and we got some light refreshments and souvenirs.china ppl seriously dont know wads queue up and dont litter huh.its like oh my fucking gosh.total land pollution.reached bangkok later.a time elaspe of an hour so its bout 8+ ther.so we rushed to the four-faced buddha temple.din do much.was just checking out the room and yupp. stuffs. finding for food. heh.

24-shopping day!heh.ate buffet breakfast.was alrighte.and right after that we went shopping -cheers- yeah and i bought quite alot of things.wanted more.but sis was like stopping me.okay fine -. - ate bird nest.sharks fin.theres this damn nice specs.okay but sis din buy.tsk.practicall shopping the whole day.had seafood feast for dinner. heh went to this place damn nice.and yeah shopping again. tsk seriously developed some fetish in shopping.saw this amusing thing on stage.theres a big screen beind and it was the match liverpool vs man u.everyone was like so engrossed in soccer.but it seemed that they were all watching the performance that was held.but hell NO!! the singing was like terrible.double yucks.this is wad they did (yesterday=yeserday) (change=chain) is like. WAD THE HELL.theres stil alot more. tskk. some pronounciation.

25-went shopping a-g-a-i-n in the morning. had the same stuffs for breakfast -. - was rushing for time.gg back home today. and ohh thailand is so so hot can.and im like so dehydrated.was shopping before the flight til so late that they announced the final call thing.its not only us lar.in the end had a delayed departure.lol.the system there is SLOW.waited for like years and they tell us theres some problems with the legal immigrant thing.i dunno wad the shit is that.just that theres this baggage without its owner.suspecting terrorism lar.blarhs delayed again.happily stoned there.but was eyecandying.theres this very nice SIA stewardess.and shes so chio.theres alot of em damn sweet looking.and ohh yeah.thailand seriously has alot of chio ppl.but i tell you
the guys there are like... -pukes- and im serious.

cried alone in the dark 3:02 AM

Sunday, April 18

::i wish.wish that ure the falling star.and im wondering wher yoo are::
and ure all that i can ever ask for //itz the way that yoo look

cried alone in the dark 4:29 PM

Wednesday, April 14


okayys.its like how great -. - many areas just blacked out can.tskk.and
there goes my previous blog.blarhhs.okayy.stupid electricity went off.its
so freaking crapp lorhs.growls.and its like so many places.eeyer.my hse
is like pitch black -. - and precy's one is lit with candles.my parents can
dont even care and continue sleeping lorhs!omgg.tskk.and its like how
freaking hot?!this is crazy.okayy the lights are like back now lar.waste
my lightstick somemore lorhs.tsk.and im dying of hunger here can.argh
schools getting nicer.chaotic as usual.so fun can.joined with some of
those guys.lol.they're hell of a bunch of wierd and crazy ppl.hehs.and
yes i love that.some freaking idiotic ppl are just soo jealous and starts
shooting rumours and critics lor.ohh please.get real and yupp get LOST.
yoo are so frigging naive.if yoo dont know anything ohh plase just shut
ure trap and stay quiet.nobody wld say ure dumb or smth.fuck up shit.

went fren's hse to watch passion of the christ.was alrighte lar.aint that
anti-christ no more.inhumanely act done by babarians.tskk.its so gruesome
but yes its nice.but then it hurts when yoo watch.like OUCH.stop torturing
him?! okayy.some of em were like cryin down there.thou its their second
time watching?!aiyos.okayys :X shall not comment.hehs.its understandable

spent like years to drew some stuffs.and ended up studying for my hist test
and yupp my hmwk.im getting rebellious and stupid.cause i seriously dunno
anything that the school has taught.ohh i tink im like taking the Os this year
like hellos.somebody wake me up please.alr.gg for rugby tmr.and yupp gg
to fix my watch.pay bills and yes gotta stop msging and msging.im getting
poorer and poorer.bankrupt ler can.i wanna change phone!and i see Os r
coming.perhaps numbed to the pressure.but wadever it is.it aint gg to be
good.im ruined.im nv gg to be able to survive.im a goner.


show me the way.lead me on.im so lost.
cried alone in the dark 12:59 AM

Sunday, April 11


okayy. supposedly gg to frens hse for hse warming.but then my hermit darling
came along.and i tell yoo shes one hell of a evil person. oops :X heh.okayy she
aint that bad lar..hehs. alrighte. a shoutout to precy. takecares kkays. yoo noe
yoo gotta loosen up things. and yupp. shes my hermit darling. lol. and yes.. im
always right behind supporting yoo yupp?! yoo go gurl -grins- xiaopang! hehs
shes my hermit darling.ohh nono.hubbie hermit. hehs.okay.this is crazy.I LOVE HER!

hehs. how nice can i be rite. hurhur. lol. ohh and was chatting with my darling
evangeline till like 2 in the morn. totally addicted to her. tskk. and was missing
her like 2.30am in the morn. this is crazy too. i noe. i just cant help it. im madd

cried alone in the dark 6:39 PM


okays.went jp for dinner.and crystal jade was like packed.ohh fine.
made do with some other stuffs.errr bought shoe bag and my shorts
yupp.rawks.and eyecandies are just increasing day after day -grins-

watched the repeated telecast of the miss singapore universe.okayy
that was extremely slow.and guess wad.though we knew the winner
i was like still cheering on for joan seah.she is one hell of a babe.damn
chio can.tskk!my sis keep saying shes not.growls.ahhh.i really wan her
to win can.shes so chiooooo -screams- joan seahh!! -chants- barhhs

cried alone in the dark 1:10 AM

Wednesday, April 7


alrighte.first day wearing contacts.took like a freaking hour to get it in can.tskk
today is sports day.but so damn argh cause we have like lessons in the morn.
ohh well.went jp after that.ate long johns bought famous amos.and walked ard
later on.went pjc for the event.and then.their field is like so.. #$@#% theres tiz
stupid metal thingy there and almost everyone tripped over it lor.so arghh.heh.
including me lar -. - and it was crapp.as it was cancelled later on.rain -. - like wth
total spoiler.anyways.went lot1.at first was like so lighted bulb.heh.barhhs but
luckily some saviour stars came.mwahaha.and of cause i joined em lar.DUHH.so
we ate at mac.walked ard later.was like eyecandying the whole time.soo cute
lorhs.im serious.heh.started to go home and saw another eyecandy.barhhs.see
im seriously addicted.anyways.took some pics along the way.uploaded em and
its on the right side.under the gallery section (if ure directionless) heh. and its
crapp.they make ppl sign up before yoo can view those pics.but yoo can just
abandon that account rite.so... yupp. and i seriously need to buy stuffs.hands itchied

cried alone in the dark 11:05 PM

Monday, April 5


rugby was hell nice.heh.except for some tcher lorhs.stopped everything cause afraid
of thunder.what the hell can.tot he was some cleaner at first.heh :X turned out to be
the assistant tcher for rugby.its like.. great.hurhur.anyways.we continued later on as
there turned out to be totally no rain at all can.some idiotic ther.tsk!waste muah time
still can call us go home somemore.learnt some tactic later on and yupp.totally rawks!
mmm.gotta do some hair-running.to improve the quality of my hair.ryte hair-runner?!
heh.barhs.my back is aching like what shit now.damn.and was tryin the contacts.tsk
m taking forever to put it in.but at least it did went in.tmr is sports day.got sch some
more lorhs.stupid school.totally dumb.and the worse thing is to sit in the concourse
for assembly!more like see the sun can.damn this school is crapp.esp the wierd rules

I don't wanna think about you
or think about me
don't wanna figure this out.


i dont want the world the see me
cause i dont think that they'd understand
bleeding heart (('delusion
cried alone in the dark 10:20 PM

Sunday, April 4


some evil ppl is like calling me to update lor.look wads the time now.like helloo?!!
heh.fine.shall be nice.alrighte.im like soooo excited down here.tmr gg for rugby
finally im like joining.heh.wanted to join long ago.ppl just refuse to go with me
say wad"isnt it too late to join a cca"ohh wadever.just go play like will die lorhs.
i just feel wierd.very to be exact.so like odd.luckily my fren is gg with me.if not i'll
just die.and some frens are inside the team already.hope i'll feel at home tmr -prays
im doing my maths which i just found it.and i haven packed my bag yet.great -. -
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.

cried alone in the dark 11:46 PM

Hey.im writing to you
Not to tell you
that i stil hate you
just to ask you
how you feel
how we fell apart
how this fell apart

the days i spent
so cold so hungry
were full of hate
i was so angry

Why weren't you there
on the nights that i cried
its not okay.but im alright

Those were just the
long lost memory of mine
i spent so many years
learning how to survive
and now im writing just to
let you know im stil alright

and all i dream is you

Loving you.feel so right
i cant deny it.in my eye
Oh baby.tell me why
why did you.say goodbye

You were the
The last thing on my mind



left to face myself alone
xuantong
24may
escapist@death-star.com
toh_xuantong@hotmail
i can't abandon everyone

::love.me::
my words that nobody understands
host .hostpics .hostphotos .lp .lpasstn
.blink .182 .eminem .goodcharlotte .


Fuck off//Leave
The inside bruises
Stop just whats killing me
And now i see how i bleed for you


The person falling here is me
i can hear you whispering



02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004


but you cant even hear me scream

oh my love please dont cry
i'l wash my bloody hands
and we'l start a new life

i dont know much at all
i dont know wrong from right
all i know is that i love you tonight

Don't you know that
all i really want is you
Gotta know that
all i really need is you

and if i make it through today
will tomorrow be the same
m i just running in pace
and if i stumble and i fall
should i get up and carry on
or will it all just be the same

its me against this world
and i dont care
i dont care
silent screams

the scars run deep down
inside this tattooed body

when you lay your head down
how do you sleep at night
do you even wonder for awhile

are you happy out there
in this great wide world

i died in my dreams
wads that supposed to mean
got lost in the fire
i died in my dreams
reaching out for your hand
my fatal desire