take me away from me

with no one left to save you from yourself
Monday, May 31

chi Os are over.was alr i guess.please let it be okay.i dont want to retake!blarhs
wrestled in the concourse.knee hurts.butt hurts.and yes now theres a swollen patch on my right knee.how nice wad.and then mr neo appeared.in the end we ran away lar. so everyone went home.and no i aint gg to go home.so i went westmall for lunch and was utterly hungry.met shi shuwei hc and imelda at the hairdresser cause shi n hc were cutting hair.and then i tagged along with em since i had nothing.cabbed back home dropped off shuwei and shi.snailed back to join them after changing.my mum send me to shi's and yeah cabbed to shuwei's.apparently got lost.and yes got car sick.slight headache lar.reach town.were all in white top and blue bottoms.yeah totally cool.our dress code that day.were like walking to and fro cine for umpteen times.yeah so we went to taka.crescent gathering there lorhs.me n shuwei were like okay.the outsiders.blarhhhs.mel got changed and joined the whiteblue gang.hehs. were just slacking ard.stop at coffee bean for a drink and yeah went on to plazasing for movie.din watched cause yeahh look at the time.took neos and errr.too confused by the stupid machine.and turned out kinda small thou.and i think i look wierdd.very i guess.shuwei went off early.her eyes are like how red.went for pizza later and yeahh think the table is like how messy.we took like an hour for the meal but was damn humourous can.and yes.stupid mel saw my ezlink pic.$@%&..! and yeah she maluated us cause she was apparently laughing her head off.okay nuff said.so they went for the movie and me n mel went to meet our frens.so we separated.walk ard abit after reaching taka.and yeahh reached home and yes i forgot to buy breakfast for tmr.okay. im tired.

cried alone in the dark 11:46 PM

Wednesday, May 26

chinese lessons are so full of crapp.its getting crazier i realized.
and yes i've been eating and eating lately its a miracle if i dont gain weight
saw those lower secs having kiteflying sessions.and i freaking wanna get my hands
on it.barhhs.and yeahhh they dont know how to fly kites can! darn toot.can just
faint i tell you.moodswings are gone i guess.hehs.been crapping ard and stuffs
Ne quiz is so utterly errr wierdd.waste of time.and yeahh addicted to goodcharlotte

+i wishh.and i wishhh.upon a star
+but its that star.that doesnt shine -feeling faithless-

cried alone in the dark 7:19 PM

like to thank all for those wonderful presents.
and yar i know.their -pond plan- failed. heh.

schs nothing but just chinese and chinese
gotta get a new phone.mine is rotting
and good charlotte simply rawks

and yes.now i know.i see everything.
for once.ive been slapped awake.

cried alone in the dark 12:10 AM

Monday, May 24

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

TO ME !!!



sweet 16.

cried alone in the dark 12:00 AM

Sunday, May 23

okayys.now my fucking phone cant call.
it's spoilt.this stinks.and yes im wating.
one more hour. w a i t i n g

cried alone in the dark 11:08 PM

Saturday, May 22

just when i thought its gone.
it came back and started to haunt me.
i dont know bout this.but yes i tink tmr is gg to be hard
i know its been long.but no i tink i stil feel the same
the inside hurts.and still.i cant get it off
'im all torn up inside-

cried alone in the dark 9:13 PM

another match. another loss. another day of fun
went food court in wm for lunch. just came back
and yes there is trgn on my birthday. great.

its gg to be a wk.and yes im trying.stil trying

cried alone in the dark 1:59 PM

Thursday, May 20

okay.we lost.but really had fun and stuffs.
went home after the 45min paper.
and yes i think my attitude stinks.
went to the doc.m having a slight headache now.
Blarhhs. this is crapp.
so the match ended like at kinda late and
we were all starving and yeahh went wm for
dinner.had kfc.yumms.years since i had it.
okayys.we lameddd ardd like esp with the lama ppl.
Hehs. alr ohh and yeahh.they're planning smth
on mon. but i dont know what the hell they're up to
No good. i feel the evil-ness.

+close my eyes_and all i see is yoo
i.m.u

cried alone in the dark 11:01 PM

Wednesday, May 19

seemed to be giving the -bugg.off- look to everyone
ahhh.but who cares.fcuk this world.
im having a frigging sore throat now
some idiot pass the stupid germs to me.
-im hating everything-
im off to pack my rugby stuffs.
match is starting at 4+.
hope my throat recovers.its irritating.

cried alone in the dark 11:40 AM

Tuesday, May 18

it hurts.dont know wad got over me
i just cant recognize myself anymore.

my stuffs are disappearing.and im fcuking pissed.
rugby match tmr.cant be bothered to pack my stuffs.

::ive gotta find myself again:: -sinking deep-

thanks.you really did brighten up my day.

cried alone in the dark 11:29 PM

Monday, May 17

ihatemyself.ireallydo.
ifuckinghatemyself.
imjustafcukingpieceofshit.
justleavemeheretorot. killme.

cried alone in the dark 4:06 PM

tried brainwashing before i slp last night.
really had a hard time.i dont know why.

had no appetite this morn.stomach turned after my first bite
i had to spit out the second bite.this stinks.
wrote just one sentence.or rather shorter than a sent for
this 13marks qns.history.utterly no mood.had to force
myself to do those qns.and its like damn hot today.gave up
on my phy.the hotness is driving me nuts.and so i slept.

i've cleared my thoughts.if so i think.
cant take it anymore.constant flashing thru my mind.
//and she carries on without a doubt
i wonder if she has figure it out-

cried alone in the dark 1:37 PM

Sunday, May 16

somebody shoot me dead.
like thanks alot.
nicest present ever.
just fuck off now before i bite.

[[and now i see just how i bleed for you
-went for the ride-

cried alone in the dark 11:49 PM

Thursday, May 13

+i'll be with you as long as you want me to__
baby i love you and i'll never let you go
[[imissyou-

cried alone in the dark 6:42 PM

Sunday, May 9

ohh. fcuk this. damn.

cried alone in the dark 12:35 PM

Saturday, May 8

fucking problem there.
shall do it up when its okay. sry alright.
there goes my nice nice blog. WHOS CURSING ME!

i dreamt about you last night.i really did
[[but wld you even care-

cried alone in the dark 8:59 AM

Thursday, May 6


i feel it everyday.feel it swell up inside.swallowing me.
stop just what's killing me_______and part of me screams away silently

cried alone in the dark 10:16 PM

my leg is hurting like hell.had a nice sleep during the eng paper
got woken up by mr quek.was like stunned.blarhs.but he was
nice lar.rugby match got postponed.and guess wad.it was due
to the fact that OFS field was flooded.like wth.blarhhs.and its
difficult to get down for trgn nowadays.tchers are like everywher

::ive gotta find myself again:: //i have grown so weary of this lie i live

cried alone in the dark 6:01 PM


phew. finally its done. hope its like okay.

cried alone in the dark 5:56 PM

Wednesday, May 5


im flooding the place with tissues.okay.im having a flu
this is crapp.match was postponed.like total waste of
our fucking time to go prepare stuffs.and i strained my
leg muscles.can hardly walk.how m i suppose to train
fckedup shits are hot on my heels.urghh.just get lost

i try to hide it so that no one knows[[but i guess it shows when yoo look into my eye
cried alone in the dark 11:34 PM

Tuesday, May 4

look im sry.but i seriously dont know what ure thinking of.plz.like let me know.
-i think about it every night and day- //i believe in yoo.


okay.schs like fucked up. wads their problem. argh forget it.
too lazy to update bout stuffs that happen recently.having
a match tmr.face paint.style hair.its all in the plan.hope we
can win.so some fucking screwup shit dont look down on us.


cried alone in the dark 5:27 PM

Hey.im writing to you
Not to tell you
that i stil hate you
just to ask you
how you feel
how we fell apart
how this fell apart

the days i spent
so cold so hungry
were full of hate
i was so angry

Why weren't you there
on the nights that i cried
its not okay.but im alright

Those were just the
long lost memory of mine
i spent so many years
learning how to survive
and now im writing just to
let you know im stil alright

and all i dream is you

Loving you.feel so right
i cant deny it.in my eye
Oh baby.tell me why
why did you.say goodbye

You were the
The last thing on my mind



left to face myself alone
xuantong
24may
escapist@death-star.com
toh_xuantong@hotmail
i can't abandon everyone

::love.me::
my words that nobody understands
host .hostpics .hostphotos .lp .lpasstn
.blink .182 .eminem .goodcharlotte .


Fuck off//Leave
The inside bruises
Stop just whats killing me
And now i see how i bleed for you


The person falling here is me
i can hear you whispering



02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004


but you cant even hear me scream

oh my love please dont cry
i'l wash my bloody hands
and we'l start a new life

i dont know much at all
i dont know wrong from right
all i know is that i love you tonight

Don't you know that
all i really want is you
Gotta know that
all i really need is you

and if i make it through today
will tomorrow be the same
m i just running in pace
and if i stumble and i fall
should i get up and carry on
or will it all just be the same

its me against this world
and i dont care
i dont care
silent screams

the scars run deep down
inside this tattooed body

when you lay your head down
how do you sleep at night
do you even wonder for awhile

are you happy out there
in this great wide world

i died in my dreams
wads that supposed to mean
got lost in the fire
i died in my dreams
reaching out for your hand
my fatal desire